Tuesday, 8 December 2015

Who's that... In the mirror?

It's time to knuckle down with your education and ignore everything else. But when your problem is yourself I don't know what to do. I'm a lost person, I know who I am but yet I'm also the biggest stranger.

It gets harder when things are timed poorly as well. My friend group recently had an internal meltdown and I got tied in on both sides. Torn. Torn between two sides in the same group and now I'm stuck as two halves of my self. For the past couple of days my brain just went into shut down and the slightest challenge just hurt and played with my mind

All of this combined has caused my body to give up sometimes. If I don't keep my brain active I'll just collapse and not get up till something literally wakes me up. 

It's always fun to come back on a positive note however! Because life sucks sometimes but we all know that one. I recently passed a test for geography, a subject I am hopeless with... Or so I thought!

I hope life's been treating you readers well anyway. Remember bad days are just days that are bad 

Ryan x 

Wednesday, 2 December 2015

Fear

I know it's Christmas time and Halloween is long gone but the worlds always spooky and believe me there's lots and lots of spooky scary skeletons.

I recently got over one of my biggest fears. A fear of ruining everything. I'd never go through with an idea or paint my artwork because I didn't want to ruin anything. Of course all fears are caused by something in your head just sorta clicking in place. As someone who is very expressive about their homosexuality and gender fluency I've argued with my family a lot and that's what caused my fear.

Of course to get over a fear I feel you've just got to slowly build up confidence about it (spiders, we all hate spiders but don't go putting a tarantula on your head!) I got over my fear of ruining things by slowly being more risky till I got to my art exam and I just thought "No limits, think of it and do it!"

Slow but steady. It's so overused but so heavily overlooked for a phrase that carries so much power. Everything works better when you do it with precision and at a speed you're comfortable with. (I do things a bit too slowly sometimes though I'll admit that one.)

(This was kinda short compared to my last post but it just kinda dawned on me and I wanted to write about it.)

Ryan x

Monday, 30 November 2015

School is a wonderful thing

School. One word that can spark so many emotions. Personally I enjoy school but a lot of people dread it. As a teenager, school just piles everything on you and it gets to the point where you can't take anymore.

For example up until about the middle of Year 10, I just sailed through school and I never had to try to pass anything. Then I hit a point where I noticed I wasn't passing everything and I just took it as a bad day. It wasn't though and things got worse and worse till I finally noticed that I just couldn't do it anymore. For the first time I felt I was dumb. It had gotten to a point where I was far behind and I didn't even know.

So back to the wonders of school. I recently just finished my first official mock season. How did I do you ask? Well I have no clue! But best to be optimistic.  Exams aren't as bad as people seem to make them out to be. Of course revision helps but I learnt it's how you revise and it's different for everyone. But remember to never do big blocks of revision just little and often 20-30 minute sessions

Another wonderful thing about school is the drama. Teen problems. If I were to label myself as a role in my school year I'm the GBF (gay best friend) of my school. In other words I basically know a lot of things that people do out of school because people talk to me. Flattering! Even though most of the times I really don't wanna know. When I first came out I was the height of attention and everyone was asking the one question "Really?" And of course the answer was always yes. Trust me, coming out during high school was both a mistake and a blessing (When I came out, one of my friends was on the floor crying of laughter about it. I'll never know why...)

So yeah... School! You never realise how fast you grow up.

Ryan x

Wednesday, 11 November 2015

Well Hello There!

Well this is my first time blogging so have some patience with me. Anyway lets get this started!

Hey I'm Ryan, I'm basically a pretty average gay teen that designs clothing. I'll upload designs onto my blog as I recently started some digital design (Through paint.net. I can't afford photoshop or anything fancy.)

 I'm quiet usually as a person but through writing I can express myself a lot better then I can through speaking. Of course if I post about life I'll just use weird nicknames to keep names disclosed. This isn't a shaming blog after all.

So my general theme is life and clothes but to me clothes are my life so this is basically my life blog!

I'm not hoping for anything wonderful through this blog but lets see where things go!





Ryan x